We attended the funeral of a dear friend some time ago and afterwards spoke with her husband of over 50 years, a precious brother in the Lord.  Concerned for his well-being, we asked about his church, about the support he could expect to receive from the brethren in the coming days, months, and years.  He was generous in his praise for the way the Body had rallied around him, confident they’d continue to do so. Our hearts were encouraged at such a report, it was comforting to know he wouldn’t be left on his own, that his brothers and sisters would be looking out for him, ministering to him as he dealt with his great loss and learned to assume the new role the Lord had given him, that of widower.

As the conversation continued, however, he mentioned that he and his beloved had attended that particular church for seven years, going on to say that he still didn’t know everyone, which would be understandable if it was one of those so-called “megachurches” with thousands of people, but it wasn’t, it was just an average suburban church, maybe a couple of hundred people or so. He went on to say he knew all of the older people in the church well, meaning those his age, but he didn’t really know any of the younger ones at all, of which there were, apparently, a considerable number. That statement was jarring to us.

Seven years.  Our friend had faithfully attended that church for all that time and was only acquainted with those his own age or close to it, he didn’t know the younger people in his church and they didn’t know him.
  
The reason for that is because the church embraces an age-segregated model of worship and fellowship.  The younger people do their thing, the older people do theirs, and never the twain shall meet, or rarely.  What a tremendous loss for both, and what a sad distortion of how the Body of Christ should operate.
  
This man had so much to offer the younger people in his congregation and they had so much to offer him, but they were denied the mutual blessing of serving one another because they’d been led to believe that kind of church model is normal and somehow biblical.  At the funeral, for example, with the exception of our children and three of the widower’s nephews and nieces (he and his wife were never able to have children), everyone at the ceremony and reception appeared to be at least 60 or older.  Not a single younger member of his church was there to comfort their brother in Christ, to offer him the strength of their youth, nor to benefit from the godly example he displayed as he grieved in faith and with grace.  What a missed opportunity for everyone.

During our drive home afterward, it dawned on us that because of his age, and because his fellowship was primarily limited to those of like years, he faced a lonely eventuality should the Lord grant him many more years.  His circle of friends, his network of support, would naturally begin to diminish as infirmity removed the ability of most or all of his friends to get out and about, leaving him quite alone should he outlive them.

Not so in a properly functioning family or age-integrated church, a church where the elders exhort the Body to worship together and minister to one another as a whole.  Not so in a church where leadership frowns upon the notion of dividing into age or special interest groups like Youth, College & Careers, Singles, Seniors, etc., rather encourages the Body to employ the gifts of both young and old to their mutual benefit.

Psalm 68:6 speaks of God setting the lonely in families.  The church can be described as a family of families, where all have an integral role to fulfill, where each is able minister to others and be ministered to.  Our sincere hope is that the Lord will grant a fresh vision of inter and multi-generational faithfulness to our brothers and sisters, that church elders will recognize the futility of the current age and special interest mindset, and that the Body will learn to function as one, as the Word teaches.
 
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.“

~ Ephesians 4:16